with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
we made out on top of his cat.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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