Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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