remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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