at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
