Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
