but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
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Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
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Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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