I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
