he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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