Already got asked if we're dating
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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