Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
