i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
