Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
