it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
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My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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