I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
