some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
