U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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