I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
my poor anus
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize