we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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