Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
