shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
