Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
