We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
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I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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