After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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