Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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