You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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