The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
