Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
