im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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