similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
