Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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