those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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