if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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