And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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