the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
