it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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