She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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