haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
