My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
