Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
