wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
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We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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