Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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