I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
