i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
