That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
