They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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