3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize