he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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