shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
