you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
