So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
