Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
This is the high leading the old right now
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize