absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
