Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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