Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
