I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
