there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
