So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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