Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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