How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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