i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
