"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
